LOSER

by Wasted Champs

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Nathaniel Jones
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Nathaniel Jones Painful, and beautiful. Good job Jon. Favorite track: Wisdom.
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about

my fourth album: 17 songs inspired by TELE/VISIONS, the summer blues, and the theory of obscurity.

thanks to everyone who has helped me keep going since i moved to athens and started this project. there are way too many people to thank, listing them would take forever. they know who they are. <3

(9/15)
LOSER is dedicated to my friend Peter Park, who died tragically and unexpectedly on Sunday, September 11th. Death has been a concept I've thought of since high school so having someone close to me leave is always difficult.

I've began to realize how much I write about death in my songs and it's honestly starting to freak me out. I played some songs from this record at a show recently and I saw a lot of my friends sobbing in the front, which worried me a lot. I'm tired of writing so many songs that scare me later in time, I want to feel better emotionally. I'm not done writing songs about death, it's still a topic I'm interested in, but don't be surprised if the next thing I put out has a lot less of it. I hope you understand.

Thank you for making me smile, thank you for being so generous, thank you for always supporting art. You were an amazing person and I will always remember you, Peter.


GWR-010

this is the last wasted champs record of 2016, i'm tired and want to take more time with my writing.

credits

released September 16, 2016

all tracks recorded and produced by me

tracks 1-17 written by me

"After Hours" written by Lou Reed and originally performed by The Velvet Underground


"Wisdom" contains audio from the movie "Fateful Findings."

"Incomplete" contains audio from the Rick & Morty episode "M. Night Shaym-Aliens!"

these are not things i own.

tags

license

all rights reserved
Track Name: Citizens
i had to give it to someone else
i had to
and i’m so sorry

i had to pray that it goes away
i had to
and i regret everything

i had to kill what was already dead
i had to
and i don’t miss it

i had to give it to someone else
i had to
and i’m not sorry
Track Name: Waa Pa Pwa
i want to hear you scream
i want to know how much you hate me
i want to see you walk down the street
and lose all your sense of humanity

i want you to remember the pain
everything that brought you shame
i want you to take a good look at yourself in the mirror
and realize you had nothing to gain

i will never forget the time that you took me and
put a gun to my head and you told me to
get out of here

i want to hear you squeal
until you have nothing good to feel
messing around with your head
so nothing around you seems real

i hope your nightmares never end
calling the glass bottle your only friend
getting so tipsy that the room never stops spinning
and all you ever feel is dread

i will never forget the time that you took me and
you choked me nearly half to death and you told me to
get out of here
Track Name: Freezing
you’re crying in my face
your head is on my shoulder
you’re sleeping at my place
it couldn’t be any colder

i’m screaming in my brain
i feel so much older
i’m starting to go insane
my house is getting colder

i’m never getting tame
your soul is getting bolder
you say that i’m a pain
it’s only making me colder

you’re crying in my face
your head is on my shoulder
you’re sleeping at my place
my heart is getting colder
Track Name: Wisdom
all these drugs that i'm taking won’t stop the aching
i’ll still wake up in the middle of the night
and i lay here always knowing my time is going
knowing nothing will be alright
my integrity has been stolen, my face all swollen
and i refuse to take a step outside
and i’m the only one to blame, i feel so ashamed
all i can do is run and hide

i regret every single day i’ve wasted away
everything that i’ve known has been a lie
i’ve been an awful mess ever since you left
and i’ve run all out of tears to cry
my self-esteem is missing, my mind is slipping
thinking of the fucked up things i’ve done
and i’m aware i’m the one who did it, so i can skip the bullshit
there’s nowhere else that i can run

i feel so inefficient being so different
in this stupid little pit i call home
watching all my dreams get torn at the seams
the numbness growing faster in my bones
my confidence is shrinking, i can’t stop drinking
just to try to be a little less shy
i need to stop i’m well aware, but i don’t really care
i wish i’d have the courage to try

i’ve ran out of the drugs i’m taking, my body’s aching
it’s not even my mouth this time
my stomach’s full of knots, my mind’s crowded with thoughts
with the feeling that i’m gonna die
my heart is bleeding out, my body’s a drought
someone help me i’m going down
and i’m only getting worse, my life is a curse
someone just come kill me now
Track Name: Fur
sorry i get mad at you
it isn’t something that i wanna do
crying all the time
while i just roll my eyes
i wish i that could be more patient

all i want to do is die
i feel like i’m wasting your time
forgetting my head
we wish we were dead
maybe we can do it together

i just like being around you

sorry i keep hating myself
i’m living in a personal hell
freaked out by everything
i won’t stop panicking
god damnit get yourself together

everyone i love will decay
throwing my entire life away
smoke in your basement
getting stuck in cement
forgetting all of my problems

i just like being around you

sorry i get mad at you
it isn’t something that i wanna do
crying all the time
while i just roll my eyes
go and stomp all over my face
Track Name: IDK
tossing turning undesired
scared by morning i’ll be dead
waking up still feeling tired
scared to get out of my bed

i don’t know

hiding in a million places
each one i’m such a disgrace
running in a million races
broken windows cutting my face

i don’t know

not sure what the hell i’m doing
everything doesn’t seem real
standing still yet i’m still moving
i stopped caring how i feel

i don’t know
Track Name: Incomplete
i feel incomplete
i feel like a small boy scared to
come up from under his sheets

wondering where the time comes from
wondering if i’ll ever find what everyone calls love

i feel so broken
i think that i’m not very good
at doing anything

wondering what i fucked up
wondering what i fucked up but didn’t know i fucked up

i think i’m so dumb
i don’t even know what is
going on

inside my own mind
inside my own decaying everyday body

i feel incomplete
Track Name: Around
i look up to your face
and all i see is pain
why are you even talking to me?

you don’t even fuss when i am
choking up my guts
i don’t know how you deal with me

i am tumbling to the ground
why are you still around?

you head rests on my neck
and i only feel regret
for all the mistakes i will make

i just can’t get behind
the fact that you’re still by my side
you’re real and i am fake

i am tumbling to the ground
why are you still around?
Track Name: Last Name
i turn you to dust you fly away
i wake up in sweats i’m not okay
thinking about you isn’t the same
i really thought i’d take your last name

just because you said this time it would work
that doesn’t really make it true
laying on the couch just trying to sleep
so you can feel brand new
waiting for something to happen in your life
but we all know you’re so doomed
everything will turn out right if you’re lucky
if only you weren’t so cruel

i turn you to stone and you just stay
i leave you alone you’re not okay
thinking about you isn’t the same
i really thought i’d take your last name

you never asked why i’m hurting all the time
you never even cared
i don’t even know why i act so surprised
since when were you ever fair
sleeping on the floor the yelling won't stop
not even a little bit
everyone will love you more if you’re lucky
if only you gave a shit

i turn you to wood and you decay
i leave you to rot we’re not okay
thinking about you isn’t the same
i really thought i’d take your last name
Track Name: Imagine
i can’t
imagine what you think of me
i guess i won’t say anything

i won’t
dare to speak your name
for as long as i live

i don’t
want to see you again
and if i do i don’t know what i’ll do

i shouldn’t
feel bad when i see you
but my sadness gets the best of me

i won’t
forget to smile
so it seems like i’m better off

i can’t
play this game anymore
i’m too miserable to go on

i don’t
know what i’m saying
my head is too tangled up

i won’t
admit that i love you
but inside i know it
Track Name: Chinaski
i’m gonna sock my father in the jaw
while my mother cries in the corner
i wanna jump the schoolyard bully
while the teachers laugh at me

taking shots with all your friends
passed out dying on the staircase
going to the dumpster to cry my eyes out
so they don’t see

i’m a messed up prick with vomit and blood on my shirt
god help me or shut the fuck up
i’m stuck between a beautiful limbo
of staying young and growing up

daddy wishes i was worth a fuck
mama doesn’t really care either way
everyone around me is dead or doesn’t care
and i wish i could learn how to cope

going to a whorehouse with my desperate friend
yelling at the broad right next to me
and she asks me ‘you queer or scared?'
and all i can say back is ‘both'

i’m a messed up prick with vomit and blood on my shirt
god help me or shut the fuck up
i’m stuck between a beautiful limbo
of staying young and growing up
Track Name: JET NO SNOW
come with me
i will make you so happy
and we’ll forget all our problems
in paradise

breathe easy
and say bye to your anxiety
we’re going to a place
where it doesn’t exist

take this drink
and always remember me
and how much i love you

feel so free
that’s how you feel when you’re with me
just hold our hands
and get closer to the light

just trust me
i know it feels like you’re dying
just close your eyes
it’ll all be fine

take this drink
and always remember me
and how much i love you
Track Name: Ohio
you’re not yourself
living a lie that only kills you in the end
and you can tell
drinking more often upset that you left your friends

ohio my one true love
breaking my heart but giving me a new one
ohio my whole new life
coming back home and swallowing all my pride

you’re acting strange
pretending to be cool but really you’re dead
looking deranged
not knowing what’s going on in your head

ohio my one true love
breaking my heart but giving me a new one
ohio my whole new life
coming back home and swallowing all my pride
Track Name: Escape
you’re just looking for a place to stay
someplace far away from here
you’re just looking for a body to crawl in
a place where you wouldn’t have any fears

but if only you could escape
the monsters, they are everywhere
and the more you wait the more they creep in
waiting for your eventual end

you’re just looking for a place to hide
somewhere you won’t be hurt
people who will always love you
and who won’t throw you in the dirt

but if only you could escape
the bastards that surround you
and the more you stand there the closer they get
to your eventual end

(if only i could forget)