i sat alone in my mind again wishing to myself i had a friend but they’re out drinking while i mope to myself what else is new i lay alone in an empty space worrying about the human race and about the deaths of everyone around me and the inevitable death of you just another friday night for me i sighed alone in a crowded room sitting there looking for my doom hoping and waiting the trigger will be pulled what else is new i slept alone in a deserted place cutting my tongue out cause i’m a disgrace pouring the blood all over my face what else should i do just another friday night for me again and again

it’s raining and i don’t have an umbrella is this a metaphor for where my mind has gone? sometimes i wish i could predict the weather but lord knows i’d always get it wrong it’s pouring so i run for cover i watch the screen to know what this movie’s called but i see my friend and we have a conversation and i never learn the title all along it stopped raining and i’m finally home i feel like my whole night was a waste of time i’m back to the beginning i’m all alone this process called my life is getting really out of line

i wanna go to the fair with you and we’ll be happy we’ll hold each other tight on the carousel and not feel crappy and afterwards i’ll write this stupid song and sing it to you let’s go to the amusement park and laugh our cares away let’s kiss on the top of the ferris wheel and feel a okay and afterwards i’ll write this stupid song and sing it to you while we fall asleep

all i wanna do is sit with you on the porch and have some cups of coffee and share a joint and we can do our work until the sun goes down and hatefuck till we go to sleep cause i like being around you until i snap everything builds up like a heart attack and i depend on drugs when you’re around until we go to sleep and when we wake up we vomit our guts out and sit on the kitchen counter together and pout about how our lives suck and we want out and we go back to sleep and we’ll make lunch in the evening and stare at the sky and watch tv thinking about how we want to die and afterwards we’ll look at each other and sigh and finally go back to sleep all i wanna do is sit with you on the porch and have some cups of coffee and share a joint and we can do our work until the sun goes down and hatefuck till we go to sleep

i’m sad and i’m sober and i’ve accepted the fact that i’m gonna die queer and young and alone for about two years now and if i don’t end my night having someone at my side i’m gonna go fucking insane

tell me that i’m lazy tell me i’m a fucking lie tell me that i’m crazy tell me i should fucking die cause i’ll do it if you want me to yeah i’ll do it what else should i do? i will do it if you want me to yeah i’ll do it but i’ll never tell you tell me that you gave up tell me i’m a fucking joke tell me everything is my fault tell me i should fucking choke cause i’ll do it if you want me to yeah i’ll do it what else should i do? i will do it if you want me to yeah i’ll do it but i’ll never tell you

"fifteen, and that's all you it's like 'nee nee nee my name is jon i wrote a good song' and that's how you do it. and then what other songs did you write? we kinda wrote ‘b side’ together but like all the guitar was you, and you knew how to do the thing, and — are you filming me? i don’t give a fuck. okay. there’s crumbs. don’t laugh. this is serious. this is serious. okay. but i’m not done. i wanna be — i want all of this to be filmed so you can internalize it forever. that you’re a beautiful human being. you’re really smart. you’re really good. i’m too - you’re too good — i — fuck. you are too good for me. i’m not too good for you. i’m — i’m an okay drummer. you’re an okay guitar player. but you’re also a fantastic songwriter and that’s what fucking matters. and — what’s another good song? you wrote 'i don’t know.’ ‘i don’t know’ is a good fucking song. i feel it. i feel it in my bones. like my bones —“ “you feel it in your boner?” “yeah. i get boners from that song when i hear it in my head. it’s recorded—" “same. i get boners too. yeah man, you’ve never seen it?” “i’ve never seen your dick, no.” “wanna see it now?” “yeah.” “i wanna see it.” “i don’t know, man. “i wanna see it too.” “not on video, though.” “alright, alright. okay we’ll do it later.” “okay. afterwards.” “we’ll do it later. we’ll all whip our dicks out later.” “i’ll whip my dick out right now.” “no kieran” “doit doit doit doit doit. i dare you, doit.” “wait, wait. no.” “i’m scared.” “no, no i don’t wanna scare anybody. i’m just tryna put merch away.” “kieran, why did you put all your change on the table, i don’t want it!” “but it’s for pbr.” “give it to dan, then.” “is it for pbr?” “yeah. we sent someone on a pbr mission.” “this is $2. that’s $1.” “no it’s not, that’s a nickel.” “$1.25” “it’s $1.05” “$1 $1 $1 thir— what?” “okay, let me count your money, let me, let me, I LOVE COUNTING COINS!” “pretty, okay, that’s a nickel. are you having FUNNNN?? uh, whoooaaaauuuuueeeehh booyah. there’s only 1 gram of sugar in a serving of sriracha? there's 96 servings i’m pretty —" “this is $2.02.” “that’s enough for a fucking pbr.” “i could go to a bar and be like PPWWRR GIMME A DRINK! cause i’m 19.” “in canada you could do that. dude in canada you trying to like let it get lit?” “i mean yeah cause i can— bruh no, NO, PUT YOUR—“ “WHAT’S HAPPENING” “THERE’S SO MUCH CHANGE GOING ON IT’S LIKE WHEN OBAMA TOOK OFFICE, LIKE —” “yeah and he was like ‘yes we can’ ‘si se puede’ ‘SI SE PUEDE!’” “SI SE PUEDE!!” “SI SE PUEDE!!” “aw i got a snapCHAAAAAAATTTT.” “cory knows, wait cory, wait — dr — what — what're, are you leaving this here?" “yeah." “dope. okay wait, um, jon.” “yeah?” “you’re beautiful. you’re good. i love you. sometimes i’m mean to you a lot. but that’s like — that doesn’t mean anything. like it doesn’t mean that you’re less of a person cause one person’s mean to you. you know what it means? it just means that one person’s mean to you, and that one person’s just like a fucking dick. i’m a fucking dick, i’m a toxic friend. sometimes, like you know — no, i’m just a toxic friend, and you’re like a good friend. even if you’re toxic to me. sometimes you’re a bad friend to me. but like, we’re still friends cause we’re just — we’re — we’re dumbasses. so like —" “and that’s what friendship is, being dumbasses together. psa.” “snapchat." “did you just cut off the vide— no, you didn’t end it, you’re still — that light — that light —" “dexter, you’re so pretty! you know you’re a good dog, don’t you?” “i like your hair a lot.” “thank you.” “he’s a moo cow. oh i thought you were talking to the dog.” “no, i’m talking to tate.” “yeah, i got really good hair.” “yeah, you do. tate — tate i don’t like to assume, what pronoun do you use?” “uh, they/them/their.” “they have the best hair in this house.” “i like your hair." “thank you. it’s really dry cause i bleach it a lot. and straighten it a lot, just not this time.” “my hair used to be as long as yours but i cut it off and now i’m sad cause people don’t call — people don’t — people don’t call me lady at — at —at — at —“ “but your hair look so good.” “i know but like—“ “i know.” “but like — but like — i miss going to a denny’s and people being like ‘hello ladies, how can i help you?’ and i’m like ‘ayee’ but like — but —” “AYEE I’M A GIRL! LMAO" “but like — now it’s just like ‘what can i do ya for?’ and i’m like UUGHH. i just want a drink” “i just wanna be a lady.” “kieran — kieran, do you have any — i’m gonna stop the video. do you have any final thoughts?” “what is love got to do? got to do with it?” “what’s love but a second hand in motion?” “OW!!"