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an 18​-​year​-​old sighing as the spins kick in

by Wasted Champs

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e
e thumbnail
e i wrote a review for this when i was in hs and suicidal
but

this album kinda fucking hits still Favorite track: fool.
Christian and Emerson
Christian and Emerson thumbnail
Riley
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1.
i can't make up my mind 03:14
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waiting for an answer to a phone call that i forgot to make and i see you coming my way and i’m stoned and repulsed by your existence it’s not you it’s just me and my everlasting grouchiness can you fix that about me you wave to me and i wave back with the upmost uncertainty did you remember that i can’t make up my mind oh i don’t know if i can talk about it i barely talk to my therapist about anything important maybe i should stop doing that do i really need help from anybody else? holding on to dear life as you talk to me and i stumble on the staircase and you laugh at me at all of my mistakes i feel so tiny even if i’m taller than you but i don’t care i feel sick but you’re next to me so i know that i’ll be fine won’t i we go home i lay with a pit in my stomach what’s wrong with me oh shit that’s right i can’t make up my mind oh i don’t know if i can talk about it i barely talk to my therapist about anything important maybe i should stop doing that do i really need help from anybody else?
2.
fool 02:18
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i want so bad to make you smile and i know that i never will so here i sit all by myself knowing i won’t see you but still i’m terrified when i’m with you and i know i should just be cool i’m sorry for being myself you know that i am just a fool help me forget all of my fears i want to be happy again would you do me a favor simply put a hole in my head none of this will be your fault i hate myself too much to be cool don’t bother talking to me you know that i am just a fool
3.
empathy 03:20
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i want to talk to you but forget about how you made me cry i want to kiss you but forget about how you want me to die i am nothing i can’t feel anything i don’t wanna talk about it i just want to feel something other than disgust for myself other than a lack of empathy for my friends they deserve better than myself they deserve someone who isn’t dead i want to forget you but i don’t know how else i’ll smile i want to sneak up and kill you but instead i’ll mope for a little while i am nothing i can’t feel anything i don’t wanna talk about it i just want to feel something other than disgust for myself other than a lack of empathy for my friends they deserve better than myself they deserve someone who isn’t dead
4.
untitled 04:10
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jesus christ, i don’t know what you want, but whatever you want, i’m yours i don’t know who you are, are you the same as me? what the fuck are you on, are you on what i’m on? are you feeling okay, tell me you’re also dizzy you’ve got what i want and i’ve got what you need put the bullet in your head and come say hi to me i’m in hell, you’re here to help me from my faults oh god, whoever you are, what are you doing to me? falling apart, yet being the start of everything what are you waiting for, just set me free you run with the best of it and i try my best to be so tie the knot tighter pluck away my sanity
5.
face (demo) 01:52
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6.
firefly (gobbinjr cover) 04:20
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7.
sportskid 00:32
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i’m a sportskid i’m a motherfucking sportskid hide your sisters, hide your brothers go and hide under your covers i’m a sportskid i’m a motherfucking sportskid i don’t care it’s not a crime why don’t you go and waste your time i’m a sportskid i’m a motherfucking sportskid why don’t you know why can’t you see you really shouldn’t mess with me cause i’m a sportskid

about

a follow-up to an ep called "a 15-year-old saying 'whatever' to his dad"


i had a really big panic attack at the end of 2016. i held my hands in my head and rocked back and forth in a bathroom stall, crying to the eraserhead soundtrack for so long i could't keep track. i tried to joke about it, i tried to play it off, but deep down i was terrified. i lost all my privacy. my new roommate was worst than the last one, he wouldn't just leave me alone. i'm going insane, i can't even take a quick breath.

a few days ago i woke up and thought to myself that i couldn't think of the last time i was genuinely happy. it might've been in 7th grade, being a little pipsqueak without a care about anything around me. adolescence got the best of me after that and i've been stuck a pit of despair and self pity ever since. i want to be happy, it might be too late for me though. idk

at the same time, i couldn't be more thankful for where i am right now. i have great friends and i'm in good health, which is what i really need right now. i'll surround myself with positivity and good things until i can feel a little better, at least i'll try.

thank you for listening to me and caring about all this stuff. 2016 was a terrible year, but i'm glad that i've been able to make so much music that people love so much. i got a lot more stuff planned for 2017 and i can't wait to share it with you all.


till then, fuck wasted champs.

credits

released January 6, 2017

everything recorded on my phone by me

tracks 1-5 + 7 written by me
"firefly" written by emma witmer

license

all rights reserved

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