an 18​-​year​-​old sighing as the spins kick in

by Wasted Champs

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eamon
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eamon this album perfectly encapsulates themes of loneliness and a masculine ideal of emotional self dependence. if that's just me projecting, it at least helped me through some of that stuff personally. Favorite track: fool.
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00:32

about

a follow-up to my ep "a 15-year-old saying 'whatever' to his dad"


i had a really big panic attack at the end of 2016. i held my hands in my head and rocked back and forth in a bathroom stall, crying to the eraserhead soundtrack for so long i could't keep track. i tried to joke about it, i tried to play it off, but deep down i was terrified. i lost all my privacy. my new roommate was worst than the last one, he wouldn't just leave me alone. i'm going insane, i can't even take a quick breath.

a few days ago i woke up and thought to myself that i couldn't think of the last time i was genuinely happy. it might've been in 7th grade, being a little pipsqueak without a care about anything around me. adolescence got the best of me after that and i've been stuck a pit of despair and self pity ever since. i want to be happy, it might be too late for me though. idk

at the same time, i couldn't be more thankful for where i am right now. i have great friends and i'm in good health, which is what i really need right now. i'll surround myself with positivity and good things until i can feel a little better, at least i'll try.

thank you for listening to me and caring about all this stuff. 2016 was a terrible year, but i'm glad that i've been able to make so much music that people love so much. i got a lot more stuff planned for 2017 and i can't wait to share it with you all.


till then, fuck wasted champs.

credits

released January 6, 2017

everything recorded on my phone by me

tracks 1-5 + 7 written by me
"firefly" written by emma witmer

tags

license

all rights reserved
Track Name: i can't make up my mind
waiting
for an answer
to a phone call
that i forgot to make

and i see you
coming my way
and i’m stoned and repulsed
by your existence

it’s not you
it’s just me and my
everlasting grouchiness
can you fix that about me

you wave to me
and i wave back with the
upmost uncertainty
did you remember that i can’t make up my mind

oh i don’t know if i can talk about it
i barely talk to my therapist about anything important
maybe i should stop doing that
do i really need help from anybody else?

holding
on to dear life
as you talk to me
and i stumble on the staircase

and you laugh at me
at all of my mistakes
i feel so tiny
even if i’m taller than you

but i don’t care
i feel sick but you’re next to me
so i know that i’ll be fine
won’t i

we go home
i lay with a pit in my stomach
what’s wrong with me
oh shit that’s right i can’t make up my mind

oh i don’t know if i can talk about it
i barely talk to my therapist about anything important
maybe i should stop doing that
do i really need help from anybody else?
Track Name: fool
i want so bad to make you smile
and i know that i never will
so here i sit all by myself
knowing i won’t see you but still

i’m terrified when i’m with you
and i know i should just be cool
i’m sorry for being myself
you know that i am just a fool

help me forget all of my fears
i want to be happy again
would you do me a favor
simply put a hole in my head

none of this will be your fault
i hate myself too much to be cool
don’t bother talking to me
you know that i am just a fool
Track Name: empathy
i want to talk to you
but forget about how you made me cry
i want to kiss you
but forget about how you want me to die

i am nothing
i can’t feel anything
i don’t wanna talk about it
i just want to feel something

other than disgust for myself
other than a lack of empathy for my friends
they deserve better than myself
they deserve someone who isn’t dead

i want to forget you
but i don’t know how else i’ll smile
i want to sneak up and kill you
but instead i’ll mope for a little while

i am nothing
i can’t feel anything
i don’t wanna talk about it
i just want to feel something

other than disgust for myself
other than a lack of empathy for my friends
they deserve better than myself
they deserve someone who isn’t dead
Track Name: untitled
jesus christ, i don’t know what you want, but whatever you want, i’m yours
i don’t know who you are, are you the same as me?
what the fuck are you on, are you on what i’m on?
are you feeling okay, tell me you’re also dizzy

you’ve got what i want
and i’ve got what you need
put the bullet in your head
and come say hi to me

i’m in hell, you’re here to help me from my faults
oh god, whoever you are, what are you doing to me?
falling apart, yet being the start of everything
what are you waiting for, just set me free

you run with the best of it
and i try my best to be
so tie the knot tighter
pluck away my sanity
Track Name: sportskid
i’m a sportskid
i’m a motherfucking sportskid
hide your sisters, hide your brothers
go and hide under your covers
i’m a sportskid
i’m a motherfucking sportskid
i don’t care it’s not a crime
why don’t you go and waste your time
i’m a sportskid
i’m a motherfucking sportskid
why don’t you know why can’t you see
you really shouldn’t mess with me cause
i’m a sportskid